Reclaiming Love Read online

  "Six-thirty. You need—"

  "I already told Connor I would talk to the police, if only so he can see that they are no more help than I already said. I'm going to go to my party, even if I'm not really in the mood, so I won't disappoint Nicki.” He met Connor's gaze. “Are you coming?” He meant the question to sound neutral, but there was hint of venom in it.

  "I told Nicki I would, unless you'd rather—"

  "No, I want you to come. I'm sorry.” He sat down and lifted his trembling hands to his face. “Nothing's coming out right tonight.” He rubbed his eyes then met Connor's gaze. “I'm not going to the reading group tomorrow night. I want a night alone.” He waited to see what Connor would say. Josh had never respected his distance when he wanted it, even before he'd moved in with him.

  Connor wasn't Josh. Connor had been more respectful than Josh ever had, even when they'd first met. There had been no put downs. Connor listened to him, even when he didn't understand. He still listened. “If that's what you need, then you should have it."

  He let out a relieved sigh. “You're being wonderful again."

  "Don't you want him to be wonderful?” Dave looked confused as he thumbed through the stack of letters.

  "No, I don't want wonderful. I want honest. You are being honest?"

  Connor nodded. “I really need to do some work. You've been a distraction."

  Kevin smiled and the looked up at Dave, warmth bubbling up inside him. “I love honest."

  "You make no sense, chico."

  "Are you riding with us?"

  "I thought I would, if you don't mind. Do you care if I stay with Lilly tonight? I can just ride home with her."

  Kevin shook his head. “I don't care. I'll be all right."

  "Or are you planning to come home?” Dave glanced at Connor, and Kevin knew what he was thinking.

  "I'm coming home."

  They left a few minutes later, but Kevin was silent on the drive to Nicki's house. He ignored the feeble attempts to get him to talk. He'd go to the party, and he'd pretend to be happy. He was mourning, he realized. He had never really mourned for his dad, and his grief had gotten him trapped in the situation with Josh. Now, he was mourning not just for his dad, but also for himself.

  The lights were all on at Nicki's house. No doubt she would have gone to a lot of trouble fixing dinner, but he had no appetite. The door opened as soon as he knocked. Her smile quickly faded into concern as soon as she opened the door. “Kev, are you all right?"

  "I'm fine.” He hugged her. “Will you forgive me if I call it an early night? I'm tired."

  She ushered the three of them inside. Music played muted in the background, and he could smell garlic bread. His stomach grumbled.

  "What happened?"

  He shrugged. “I'll tell you later.” She glanced behind him where Connor stood, arms crossed over his chest.

  "Don't glare at him,” he said softly. “He didn't do anything except be wonderful, but I need honest not wonderful right now."

  "Kev..."

  He summoned a weak smile. “I won't spoil the party. I smell something good, and I hear voices. Just forget it for tonight."

  She looked like she wanted to protest, but she finally nodded. “Come in the kitchen. That's where everybody is."

  Everybody turned out to be only a few friends, the same friends who'd been at his apartment Sunday night, with one addition. An older man, hair graying slightly, but other than the lines and wrinkles on his face, he seemed to be in excellent shape. Kevin's bad mood lifted a little, and he had the man in an embrace as soon as he reached him. “Uncle George.” Kevin sagged against him, so grateful to see him. He wished he hadn't kept George at a distance, but he couldn't quite help himself.

  "Kevin.” The arms that embraced him were strong. “You've been avoiding me. I've called and sent letters. It's good to see you.” He pushed Kevin away and studied his face. “You look much better than the last time I saw you.” His gaze drifted behind Kevin to where Connor had stepped into the kitchen and picked up a bottle of Coke. George smiled. “Someone new? I hope he's good to you."

  "He is."

  Uncle George wasn't his real uncle. He'd been Kevin's dance teacher, but he'd become so much more than a teacher. He and his partner, Andy, had made up for Kevin's lack of a loving family, becoming his surrogate parents. Kevin had kept a lot of people at a distance the last few years, including George.

  "Good. Come see me.” George squeezed his shoulders. “I miss you, and I'll bet you miss the studio."

  Kevin lowered his gaze. “I'll think about it.” He did miss the studio. He missed the dance. He missed the beautiful feel of his body in motion.

  George patted his cheek. “Good. Do that."

  He greeted the others: Scott, Lilly, Mark and the pretty boy, and afterwards they sat down and ate pasta and salad. He filled his plate and stared it for a moment to banish the insidious voice that told him to push it aside. When it was gone, his appetite returned, and he ate until he was full. After dinner there were presents. Nicki and Scott had bought him a new stack of CD's, an attempt to replace the collection he'd lost. Dave gave him tickets to a play. Mark, some books he'd wanted but not yet bought. Uncle George gave him a set of videos and an open invitation to use the studio when he was ready. Connor's gift left him breathless. When he unwrapped the print, he stared at it, speechless.

  "How did you do this?"

  Connor shrugged. “It was a bit of a conspiracy. I told Nicki where to get it."

  He hugged Connor then, with the print pressed between them.

  "Thank you.” He hugged and thanked everyone, and they left the dining room to go to the basement. The floor had been cleared and swept so they could listen to music and dance, but Kevin curled up in a chair and watched the others, enjoying the fellowship of having his friends around him. Connor sat down on the arm of the chair and held out his hand.

  "Dance with me?"

  The current song was slow, and the other couples were dancing close. Uncle George sat on the other arm with a beer in his hand. He nudged Kevin's shoulder. “If you don't dance with him, I'm going to."

  "You should have brought Andy.” George's longtime partner had cancer that had come and gone for several years, but the last Kevin had heard, Andy was doing well.

  George shrugged. “He wasn't feeling well.” He pointed to Connor with his beer. “Are you going to dance or not?"

  Kevin sighed. “This is a conspiracy."

  "Of course, it is,” George said. “Your friends are worried about you, and they care about you. You can't sit on the sidelines of life forever. Eventually, you're going to realize that it's a pretty lonely place to be."

  Connor hadn't moved. He still had his hand out, waiting patiently.

  "Besides,” George continued, “I haven't gotten to dance with a hunk like that in years."

  Kevin laughed a little. “Then you should. Connor would dance with you."

  "Nope.” George took a long draw on his beer. “Not until you do. In case you didn't notice, he asked you, not me."

  Connor's lips twitched in a bit of a smile. When Kevin didn't move, George grabbed his wrist and put it in Connor's hand. “Go dance with your man, Kevin.” Connor's fingers closed around his hand in a loose grip.

  Connor pulled gently. “It's only a dance."

  Kevin let himself be pulled from the chair and onto the makeshift dance floor. Connor pulled him close and began to sway to the music. He couldn't relax. He still couldn't believe Connor wanted him, especially after what he'd shown him earlier.

  "Relax,” Connor whispered in his ear.

  He wrapped his arms around Connor's neck and laid his cheek against his chest, and they danced that way for a few songs, close and quiet.

  "You know,” Kevin said when the music changed to something more up-tempo. “You're many things, Connor, and I'll even go so far as to say you're a wonderful man."

  "But?” Connor was smiling, green eyes dancing with humor.

&
nbsp; Kevin couldn't resist returning the smile. “You're a lousy dancer."

  Connor laughed at that, and Kevin couldn't keep from dissolving into laughter as well, earning curious glances from the others who hadn't heard the conversation. “We're going to have to work on that."

  "I'm tone deaf, also,” Connor said with a shrug.

  Kevin sighed and shook his head. “It's hopeless. No rhythm and tone deaf.” He left Connor to flip through the CD's piled on the table that held the stereo, looking for something upbeat and interesting.

  "What are you doing?” Nicki asked.

  "Looking for something fun. I'm going to show Connor how to dance."

  She smirked. “I thought you were going for an early night. It's past nine."

  He shrugged. “Changed my mind.” He finally chose Pink from the collection and picked out a song with a heavy, mid-tempo beat. He smiled at Nicki and walked straight to the chair George had taken over. “Dance with me,” he said and held out his hand. “My partner has no rhythm."

  George laughed. “Kevin, I thought you would never ask.” He listened to the song for a minute. “Rhumba?"

  Kevin shook his head. “Cha-cha.” They began to dance. They fell into the steps easily. He knew everyone was watching, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Connor put his drink down and share a stunned glance with Nicki.

  He was lost in the steps. The rhythm filled his soul, and he forgot everything while he moved. For a little while, he existed nowhere but in the dance and the rhythm. When the music stopped there was applause, and he bowed self-consciously and returned to his chair, despite the frequent urgings for an encore.

  Connor sat down on the arm again. “Do you have any idea how incredibly sexy and alluring you are?"

  "Are you going to tell me?” Their gazes met, and a surge of electric heat coursed through Kevin, setting every nerve on fire. The animal part of his brain wanted to tell Nicki he was going home so that he could take Connor to bed to fuck until they couldn't move anymore. The rational part of his brain told him to wait, to be cautious. Connor took his hand again and pulled him from the chair, but instead of going to the makeshift dance floor, Connor took him to the stairwell. Kevin swallowed hard, now a little afraid of the naked desire in Connor's green eyes.

  "Do you know what I'd like to do?” Connor pulled him close and brushed his lips over Kevin's in a teasing kiss.

  "What would you like to do?” Kevin's voice was hoarse, and he couldn't tear his attention away from Connor's eyes, dark and hooded with passion.

  "I'd love to take you home and make love to you until you can't speak.” Another teasing kiss touched Kevin's lips. “I'll bet you're a moaner,” Connor whispered, and this time the kiss wasn't teasing. He devoured Kevin's lips and parted them with his tongue.

  Kevin whimpered. Prickles of excitement coursed over his body, all ending at his groin. The echo of his own thoughts only added to his rising arousal. He pulled away, breathing hard.

  "Connor I—"

  "I'm not going to,” Connor said and looked away. “I'll let you decide when you're ready."

  "My dance did this to you?"

  "No.” Connor's lips brushed over his again. “But it reminded me how sexy you really are, Kevin. You get that same look of rapture when you dance that you had in that picture."

  Kevin laughed and gazed up into Connor's adoring eyes. “You should see my tango."

  "Are you trying to make me come in my pants?"

  He licked his lips, feeling naughty, deliciously naughty, and Connor's lighthearted attitude made wicked thoughts jump into his head. “What do I win if I do?” He hovered close to Connor's lips, teasing, pulling away when Connor tried to capture his mouth again.

  Connor's grin sent a jolt of passion straight to Kevin's core. “Me."

  He shivered and captured Connor's lips again. Hands roved down his back, down to squeeze his ass, and he moaned into Connor's mouth, pressing tight against him. Their tongues met and danced together, and Kevin pulled away breathless. “And if that isn't enough?” The temptation to slide his hands under Connor's shirt and feel the hard muscle was almost irresistible.

  Connor tried to claim his mouth again, but Kevin pulled away, laughing softly.

  "You can do whatever you want to me.” Connor's breathing was fast now, and his erection pressed hard against Kevin's stomach. Kevin wondered what he felt like, or if his skin tasted as sweet as his lips.

  "Whatever I want?"

  Connor nodded, smiling. The wicked thoughts came back in a rush, and Kevin did slide his hands between them, caressing Connor's chest through his shirt. He looked up, meeting Connor's amused gaze. “I can leave you like this for days and days, thinking about my dancing, with nothing but your hand and my story to comfort you?"

  Connor whimpered.

  "Think of all those wonderfully naughty things I let you do to me in that story.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “You tied me up and then—"

  Connor grimaced. “I'd rather you didn't do that."

  "Just think of the reward,” Kevin whispered and claimed Connor's lips. He moved his hands down Connor's back, over the firm seat of his butt, and back up his chest. “I'd let you have me,” Kevin whispered in Connor's ear, and he meant it, for now. “What happens if I lose?"

  Connor swallowed hard. “Something tells me you aren't going to lose."

  Kevin felt deliciously wicked at the sight of Connor, lips swollen, face flushed, eyes dilated, cock so hard he thought it might burst the zipper of his jeans.

  He didn't feel sorry for the man though. Connor had started this conversation, offering Kevin the chance to flirt and tease, and he liked it. He'd forgotten how much he liked doing this. Connor made him feel sexy and desirable, especially now. “If I lose, I'll write you another story, or rather, finish the one I started, but this time I get to watch what it does to you."

  Connor laughed. “Funny, that sounds strangely like a win-win situation for you. I think I should get to watch.” He shook his head and cradled Kevin's face. The next kiss was soft, gentle, almost sweet. “If you lose, you go to George's studio, and I get to see what you can really do."

  "A conspiracy?"

  Connor shrugged. “Is it working?"

  Kevin smiled in spite of himself. “I feel much better now.” He took Connor's hand and led him back to the rest of the group who watched them with suspicious eyes as he led Connor to the chair. “You sit and watch.” He gave Connor a playful shove so that he sat down heavily and leaned over him. “Do you really want to see me dance?” Connor nodded a little, and Kevin grinned and walked away, straight to Lilly. “Tango?” She glanced past him to where Connor sat, a little stiff, squirming slightly in the chair.

  "What are you doing?"

  "Winning a bet."

  Nicki blinked a few times, obviously confused by his change in demeanor. “What exactly were you doing when you disappeared a few minutes ago? I thought—"

  He leaned close and whispered to her, “Do you really want to know?” She nodded. “Connor seems to find my dancing arousing, and so we arranged a bet."

  "A bet?” She spoke out loud, and Kevin hushed her, glancing at Connor. “What kind of bet?"

  "How many dances will it take to get him to cream his pants."

  She laughed. “Kevin, that's not very nice. You'd work him all up and—"

  "Make him wait for days and days.” He grinned, delighting in the wickedness of the tease he was about to put on. “Go find me and Lilly some music."

  "Must be a serious bet,” Lilly said, but she was smiling. They were all smiling, he noticed, and Kevin hadn't felt so alive or playful in years.

  He grinned. “You have no idea."

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  Chapter Ten

  The ache in Connor's groin distracted him while Kevin stepped and turned with Lilly, moving in such a suggestive manner that Connor conjured up fantasy images of a different sort of dance that left him squirming. Their movements were well-rehe
arsed and practiced, and they had obviously danced together numerous times. Kevin held himself with that peculiar relaxed stiffness all dancers seemed to possess. He knew how to move, knew how to tease with a glance or a shake of his hips. Connor's gaze was glued to him, and every time he shook his tight little ass, Connor shivered, knowing that although he was escorting Lilly around the room, Kevin danced for him.

  He fidgeted in his chair, wanting badly to touch himself. He didn't think he'd ached this much since he was a teenager. He wondered if finding the bathroom to take care of his problem would be considered losing the bet. He shifted in his chair, trying to find a comfortable position, but each one was more uncomfortable that the last, and his pants were uncomfortably tight.

  "I always knew he had a dominant streak,” Nicki said as she sat down on the arm of the chair. She had a beer in her hand, and she flashed him a wicked grin before taking a drink. “Encourage it, and you might find yourself tied up."

  He grimaced and shifted again. “You aren't helping."

  She laughed, and her eyes drifted to his arousal. “Obviously not. Am I to assume you aren't going home alone tonight?"

  Connor shifted in the chair, whimpering when Kevin flashed him a teasing smile and pulled Lilly close, her back to his chest. Their hips rolled in sync together before they stepped back into whatever dance Kevin had chosen. Connor didn't think it was the tango. “I think that's exactly what he has in mind."

  "You'll lose his little bet.” Her lips closed around the mouth of her bottle, and Connor whimpered again. “Kevin has lots of control."

  Kevin's teasing show was bad, and Nicki's comments only exasperated the problem. “How do you know so damn much about his sex life anyway?"

  She took another draw on her beer and kept her eyes fixed straight ahead. A knowing smile flitted around her lips. “We went to the same parties, and he used to talk a lot more.” The song ended and new one started, a different dance, one a great deal more sensual, involving rolling hip actions and suggestive poses. “The rumba,” Nicki purred. “The dance of love. The dance of seduction.” Her chuckle sounded more than a bit sinister. “My vote is for three. He has you so wound up now that—” Kevin left his dance partner long enough to lean over Connor and capture his lips in one of those hard, bruising kisses that usually left him aching, but this one had the opposite effect.